Nimue Brown: Finding My Path

May 5th, 2017 | By | Category: Articles, Pagan People

I made a video a bit back offering a slightly silly and abridged version of my route into Paganism and Druidry, it does however cover all the key points as a childhood interest in folklore, mythology and nature developed into a teenage interest in magic, finding the Pagan Federation, then OBOD.

I’m not sure how to talk about my current path, I don’t really have a language for it. Most of my social Paganism is connected to the Bard tradition, but what I do privately is evolving its own, nameless shape. I could describe it in terms of walking and listening, but that does it no justice. The listening is really intense, and it is as much about listening to the world around me, and everything in it as it is about listening for other things.

My path is about my body in space and time. I’ve stepped away from teaching, I’m not doing much in the way of celebrant work or talks at the moment. I’ve lost a lot of my ambition, become wary of authority – especially my own, become more interested in service, and in the fascinating Taoist notion of doing without doing.

The path of the successful Pagan author means putting yourself forward as a teacher and speaker, leading, guiding, being visible. Often it’s easier when you offer certainty, confidence, and straightforward answers. I’ve found over the years since I wrote my first Pagan book, that I’m becoming  less and not more able to do these things. Doubt, uncertainty, and a horror of dogma have taken me away from the authoring path. My blog is an exercise in pondering and experimental spirituality. I don’t have any answers, only ever more interesting questions that I want to explore.

But I’ve found that the less interested I am in being important, the happier I am with this odd and rambling path that does not lead to anywhere specific, and does not bring anything much in the way of material benefits. Often the best I can say is ‘here’s some stuff I did’ and let people make of that what they will.

And this awkward inability to plug my work is why I’m better spending my time championing other authors, which is increasingly what I do these days! My path of doubt and uncertainty has in no way undermined my appreciation of other people’s insights and wisdom. Just because I have no answers at the moment does not mean there are no answers to be found!

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